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Saturday, January 22, 2011

Chapter 1 - Release


Dingle, Ireland. Present day.

They say you never forget your first kiss, your first sunset or the first time you lay eyes on the boy you’re going to marry.

I'm sure that's true for some people. Normal people. Me? I’ll never forget the smell of burnt flesh. Overtaking the fragrance of Heather of Town Park was a blistering, bubbling, burning, white-pink skin that peeled off in layers. It was a strong aroma of sickening, sweet meat, sort of like grilled pork, but with a uniqueness of its own.

He was too weak for the flames that engulfed him and the fire was so hot, the supple leaves of the Alder tree nearby crumbled instantly. Like the trees around me, I was rooted firmly to the earth, unable to cast my eyes away, as he shriveled and imploded before dissolving into black ash. Then, a soft breeze kicked up, as if to gather him back to the dust. Leaves played mindlessly in the gentle currents, seemingly unaware of the horror that had just taken place. My mind was charred, unable to grasp what had just happened.

 “NO!” I screamed. It was as if the park around me and the people in it moved in slow motion. I reached out and captured some of him from the ash and closed my fist around the blackened bits of paper-like substance . I held him close to me. My knees began to shake. His remains blew away with the Saturday afternoon breeze. The lingering scent was enough to ensure I’d be a vegetarian for life.

My back slammed the tree behind me as I stumbled backward, away from the scorched ring of grass. Everyone around me went about their lives, as if Adrian hadn’t just been burned alive in the middle of Dingle Town Park. I couldn’t join them, couldn’t pretend that everything was normal, so I buried my head in my hands and retreated inside my mind, trying to make sense of it.

The day began like any other, My Aunt Emma fussing at me for not cleaning my room. She took the whole “legal guardian” stuff pretty seriously, despite the fact that I would be eighteen in two years time. When I told her about the date, she’s said no. And so, I needed to find a way to get her on my side. I was not going to miss a date with Adrian.

First, I promised to clean my room, but that wasn't good enough, so I offered to clean the house. But she still wouldn’t agree to let me go. And then it hit me! Emma hated coming home from work and having to cook. She was forever going on about how one day she'd love to have a private chef like that American talk show host, Oprah.

“I'll cook! No. I'll cook every night.” She wasn’t warming to those words so I added, “For a week, two weeks. No, a month.” It sounded plausible enough despite the fact that I could barely boil water.

"Have you gone mad? Since when did you learn to cook?" Emma looked at me as if I'd offered to shave her head and then mine. She settled petite hands against her hips.

”I found a recipe for Oprah’s Spaghetti Carbonara online. How hard can it possibly be?” I offered with a pot in one hand and a skillet in the other.

With scrunched eyebrows and a look of pain, she offered a weak smile. She was giving in. I was going out with Adrian!

“Thanks, Emma. You won’t regret it!” I promised and dashed off to my room. I changed outfits countless times but none of them were perfect. Finally, I settled on a crocheted sleeveless sweater dress in a creamy soft off-white and vintage cork wedge heels.

It took an hour to straighten my long dark hair. I added a side French braid and tucked it behind my ear. At last, I was going on a real date, no more just flirting and passing notes at school. I wondered how he felt about me, if he was just as excited. My thoughts wondered to kissing and whether he’d kiss me at my door at the end of the date or at the park or at dinner. In the mirror, I could see the flush of my cheeks.

Seems looking at myself was a bad idea. I started to panic. I arched my eyebrows, then blew on my palm and sniffed. Was my breath okay? Did the dress make me look too skinny? I inspected my face, both sides. Was I too pale? I pulled on my braid—the only life in my now-flat hair. Was my hair too flat or the braid too much? Was I wearing too much makeup? I was. I was wearing too much makeup. I knew it.

"Emma!" I screamed, unable to control the jitters. She came right in, holding a small package that she set on my bed. It was like she had been just outside the door.

"Are you okay? You look green, kind of how I was on my first date with Bryan. You don’t have a fever do you?” Her fingers grazed my forehead. “Do you-" She seemed nervous and it seemed silly for both of us to be on edge. Besides, her date with Bryan turned out just fine. They were getting married soon!

I didn’t want her to see me so on-edge, so I interrupted her, "No, no, everything's fine.” I’d worked too hard for this chance for her to decide at the last minute to take it back. “I was just wondering if I looked okay." She took a step back. She made me nervous as I stood there while she inspected me, almost like a detective looking for clues. “Em--” I swallowed half the word.

Then she did a three-sixty look over, spinning me around and said, "You look…beautiful, Isis." She twirled the ends of my hair between her fingers as we giggled, and then she threw her arms around me and finished with, "Here. This came yesterday s from your godmother Claire." Once she left I tore it open. Chanel Number 5.

Nervousness and thoughts of kissing had been replaced by horror and a feeling of emptiness. I had no clue how things changed for the worse so quickly. It was supposed to be the perfect first date. We agreed to meet at the aquarium. He was sitting on the bench, but when he saw me approaching, he stood, and met me halfway, a sideways grin on his face. It was warm and the scent of his cologne made my knees weak when he approached me. I’d forgotten how beautiful he was.

“I was afraid you wouldn’t come.” he said as his smiled widened.

Almost breathlessly I said, “Me too.” Then I filled him in on all I had to do to get there. “I’ll be paying for this date for the next month,” I joked, unaware of the truth in the statement.

He swatted a fly from my shoulder and said, “Well I’m glad you made it.” Gracefully he moved his arm from my shoulder to his sandy blonde hair and brushed his hair back. The reflection of the sun caught his charcoal black shirt. He continued, “And you look beautiful.” I don't think I’d ever blushed as much as I did at that moment, as I felt the heat rise in my head down to my feet.

I clasped my hands, set them in front of me and said, "Thank you." He and I both grinned sheepishly. I think we were both embarrassed but too shy at the moment to admit to it.

He playfully bumped his right shoulder into me. “You seemed warm when I bumped you. You feeling okay?

“I think so,” I said even though I was feeling a bit warm as we headed inside.

Passing through the gardens of the fungi and the native Atlantic, we were at the Amazon waterfall. I stole several glances at him and hoped he wouldn’t notice. This was far different that being at school with everyone watching our every move. Here, we blended in and no one cared that we were together. No one would be talking about us the next day or passing notes about us next period. An hour later, we were at the Ocean tunnel, where we were surrounded by Plexiglas. We paused, both staring at the marina moving above and around us. The water was at every angle.

He looked down at his signature basketball shoes and asked, “Ready to head to An Canteen Restaurant?”

I took two steps back and said, “Oooh. I love that restaurant.” He’d thought of everything. 

We were seated in the cozy courtyard garden. Adrian ordered the sixteen-hour braised beef on champ with a red wine and beef gravy and I opted for a Cajun chicken breast with garlic mayonnaise and rocket salad on arm Ciabatta.

“Maybe you can get the recipe and make this for your aunt Emma,” Adrian joked.

“Ha ha. Very funny. Maybe you can come over and make it for her. This is your date too!”

"How about we split the Bailey’s Cheesecake and call it even? We can walk off dinner and head to Town Park.”

“Are you saying I need to lose weight?” I teased.

He smiled, tilted his head in my direction and said, “I thought I told you already. You’re beautiful.” He ran a finger down my cheek and for a moment, it felt like I’d stopped breathing.

It was a quick walk down Dykegate Lane but we took our time. While he held the dessert he said, "Your aunt seems real protective over you. I hope she likes me."

"Emma can be overbearing at times but I know she loves me. She’s like a mother to me. Are you close with your parents? "

He let out a sigh, stealing glances at me and said, "They’re okay. They mean well but they have high expectations. You know, basketball scholarship, debate team captain. I wish they’d just let me be myself sometimes. Dad just won a big arss gold trophy for snaring the largest angler and expects big things from me too. ” He paused and held my gaze, then continued, “Hey, but let’s talk about something else, okay? I don’t want to be a downer. You’ll never go out with me again!"

I really blushed that time and said, "Of course I’ll go out with you again. I mean. If you ask me."

Adrian took his last bite of cake, cleared his throat and said, “Isis, since this is our first official date I want to make us official.”

Sitting up straighter, I leaned ever so slightly towards him. I had a feeling I knew where things were going but was too shy to hope. I only managed an, “okay.”

Isis, you look so beautiful. Ever since I saw you at my basketball games last fall, I’ve wanted this. I guess I just didn’t know how to ask.” He crossed one arm across his chest like he was reaching for something. Ooooh his pin!

He was so cute but he could talk a lot. I honestly didn’t mind. “Adrian!” I know I blushed, again. I don’t know why I suddenly had a surge of blood flow thru my body. He got all serious and despite his floppy one-sided light hair, he still looked gorgeous to me. We both stood and he leaned forward, and pinned his varsity pin to my dress and said in a low voice, “Isis, I would be honored if you would be my girlfriend.”

I had only wanted to touch him, to hold his hand. A heat began to pump through my veins like a run-away steam locomotive being fed too much coal. I became heightened with crazy emotions and it saturated my senses. They stirred throughout my body as I reached to take his hand in mine. Then there were red-orange flames like a frenzied tornado swirling over his body. They devoured him before I could reply. The scream within me became strangled in my throat as I watched him burn into nothingness. Dropping to my knees, hysterical sobs escaped my mouth but somehow I managed to say, "Yes, Adrian. I'll be your girlfriend," as if that would somehow resurrect him.

Query letter!

To Whomever reads this,

They say you never forget your first kiss, first sunset or the first time you lay eyes on the boy you’re going to marry.

For 16-year-old Isis O'Shea, she will never forget the smell of burnt flesh. After convincing her aunt, to go on her first date, Isis discovers her gift that turns into a curse. It causes her to commit involuntary murder to her boyfriend by burning him to death.

What makes matters worse she didn't have the chance to mourn because the town of Dingle, Ireland seems to be sprinkled with deception that makes everyone forget who her boyfriend is, that is everyone but Isis. No time to breathe, the phenomenon created by a shadow man takes some of the pain away and replaces it with a dangerous desire that Isis is not ready for and ran from him.

The desire is he does not burn from her touch and she is replenished with emotions and touch she has to have. It seems to be a catalyst, a beginning of wicked things to come and it gave Isis no time to rest. She learns that she is a half-breed that was sent from Faerie to live on earth for her protection. But that all changes when Isis’s powers of fire awoke and it became a beacon to let those who want her dead know exactly where she is.

The man who creates deception is Ronan and he steps out of the shadows. He is under a contract by the Queen to train Isis and be her guardian. Part of the training is to remove Isis from Ireland and take her to America. Before Isis can leave she is attacked by three Fomori, watcher demons, that manage to poison Isis by slashing her back shoulder. The poison is a tracker used to know where she's at all times. They trap her and deliver four more poisons in her body which successfully bind a toxin to her mortal genes that guarantee her death.

Three warriors are now under contract to protect Isis and search for a cure to save her life. It's a race for Isis to decipher between the lies, deceptions and the truths to discover her true path of destiny to save the world before she can save herself from her death. Her deepest desire that she will not admit to herself is that she does love Ronan, but she's afraid he is the puppet master in this whole game.
FALLIN', a young adult Paranormal Fantasy is complete at 89,000 words.
Fans of the Fever series books by Karen Marie Moning will find FALLIN’ in a similar style of storytelling.

I am a proud member of RWA, SSA, and YAlitchat.org

Thanks for stopping by!

MJ Carpenter

Monday, September 27, 2010

SSA conference

This past weekend was fabulous. I went to a writer's conference sponsered by southwestern society of authors (SSA). I had three appointments with agents. It was great. I met first with Minju Chang, bookstop Literary. My openng chapter was missing the paragraph voice. I told her about the writer's groups I was attending suggested I start with action. I told her that's why I came this weeked to get expert advice. So, she said to send it to her when I reset the first paragraph 'voice'.  It's excited to know I was writing the right way. We'll see where it goes! The last agent I met with was Natalie Fischer with Dijkstra agency. She was so cool. I was impressed with her.She is looking for dark faerie story. My story is that. Here's part of my query letter:
Half-breed it sounds cool. But that’s not how it is. 16-year-old Anaroha is running for her life after her exiled mother from the faerie realm gives her an unlikely gift burned to her chest. Her mother sent her finest, Ronan, an unemotional soldier, to tag along with her all the way to America to get away from the three malicious Fomori, water demons, who successfully tracked her down at every turn.


She’s finally told during her intense training with Ronan that she has to save the faerie realm from corruption before it spills into the human world. She needs to rally the supporters from her mother to stop the treachery and stay alive. There’s a problem, the good guys aren’t playing nice. Anaroha can’t trust anyone except the emotionally challenged soldier.
Third paragraph is still in working phase. I'll post  ASAP

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Update on Fallin'

Gosh. i haven't posted to my blog since June. So much has happened during that time. I have an editor and I just posted my query to agents. I'm also meeting with three agents this weekend. (25th and 26th)

Friday, June 11, 2010

so I entered another contest one liner with 'children's publishing'. i'll know something on  the 17th of June. The fist line of my book.
here it is:
“If I want to go swimming in the ocean, I’m going. You can’t stop me!” I said.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

contest

I just entered a contest withLiterey agent's blog. It's a one sentence descrition of your story. This is what I posted:

Inaroha, modern day Joan D'Arc meets the beautiful and dark residence of Irish mytholgy in battle over the prophecy of her, the daemon.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

I am working on editing my finished manscript. I have an editor thjat I'm working to fine tune my rough draft

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Chapter 1 – Unveiling of the Rose, Page 1

Everyone has a story, everyone has a beginning, but can you remember the day it would change the rest of your life? When events began to turn and those events, left clues to another life that you never knew existed? For me, it all began at an all too familiar place that I had spent my childhood...the beach.

I was young and when I say young, I mean I still believed in the tooth fairy and all magical creatures at the fond age of seven. Remembering back to this age seems a life time ago but it was as clear as crystal to me. Crystals because it’s a prism that reflects all colors. The crystal prism is a reminder of the one that would make me whole, complete me.

I was a gifted swimmer and those who knew me would know it was just a statement of fact as natural to me as breathing. That wasn’t the only strange thing about me. I didn’t care about my appearance but people pointed out my dark hair with massive loose curls, and my eyes, a peculiar color of a deep ocean blue.


On this particular day, maybe you would have thought it was a fluke, the weather, or maybe even some strange event that no one could quite remember or explain.

“Inaroha! Let’s play hide-n-seek!” shouted out Sophie, my best friend.

“Ah, Sophie! Where are we going to hide, in the water?”

Tristan pipes up, “Yeah! Great idea Inaroha! The ones that’s ‘it’ will close his eyes and shout and the rest of us will Shout back!”

We all agreed, “Okay, let’s go!”

Why I ventured out so far in the ocean by myself despite the protests from my friends and family, I will never know but I did.

Monday, March 15, 2010

A sickness all writer's share!

I'm discovering that other writers, like myself, have a similar sickness. A passion to put their personal thoughts down on paper. I cannot find enough time in the day to write my own work! What with working full time and Not ignoring my family, it's a tight squeeze but I make it work! Not writing for a day drives me crazy!